I’ve stayed quiet since 2002, but I’m past that now. I’ve got to get this off of my chest after hearing and reading so much bullshit about how M. Night Shyamalan’s movie “Signs” has a bad ending. I’ve endured this stupidity for too long, I’m going to just do a final say on it.

First, I’m not exactly a Shyamalan apologist, although I do consider myself a huge fan. “The Sixth Sense” was a great movie, “Unbreakable” was even better, and “Signs” was his best. After that, was the total nonsense of “The Village” and “Lady in the Water.” Both of those are pretty indefensible pieces of shit, although I do enjoy watching them, merely for the so-strangely-bad they’re-compelling factor. I thought that “The Happening” was a very entertaining B movie, that wasn’t aiming any higher than being a B movie, and I have not seen “The Last Airbender.”

BEWARE SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE “SIGNS” ARE BELOW

LAST CHANCE TO AVOID SPOILERS FOR A 10-YEAR-OLD MOVIE

Now, to my point: Yes, you’re an idiot for thinking the ending is bad. Basically, the part of the ending everyone hates is when the alien invader is killed by water. Everyone always brings up the point that 70% of the Earth is made up of water, and the Aliens come to earth anyways, and they’re able to interstellar travel and they’re not wearing spacesuits, and on and on…

Here’s some questions for you dipshits:

1. Where is the scene of the alien ship?
2. Where is the scene where we see the alien driving the ship, or hell, even in it?
3. Where is the scene where you see the alien, OR a ship or any kind come from space?
4. Do you see any water BESIDES the water in the cups injure an alien?

And here’s some answers:

1. There is no visible alien ship ever seen in the movie.
2. The aliens are never seen coming or going from any ship.
3. There is no such scene.
4. No.

The point I’m trying to make is that the people ranting and raving about how the ending makes sense are coming to conclusions based on made up things. They either did not watch the movie attentively or made shit up in their minds.

Everyone complaining about the movie believes it shows that intergalactic space-aliens came down to Earth and were destroyed by water. You can also easily complain that the movie shows a race of monsters who came from the Hollow Earth, and were killed by the fluoride in drinking water. You can make both of these complaints because there is barely any information given to us at all, and what information we do get can be seen in many different ways.

The biggest sticking point for me is the idea that “water” destroys the alien, when it doesn’t. The movie doesn’t definitely say at any point that water kills the aliens, it merely shows the alien dying from the cups of water around the house. These complainers would make fucking awful scientists.

Here’s just a list of some possibilities of what killed the alien at the end:
1. A liquid of any kind (Not just water)
2. Human saliva (Remember the girl drank out of every cup of water)
3. Fluoride (That is put into some public drinking water)
4. Any mineral found in that water
5. Any bacteria found in that water

If you see where I’m going with this, then you know it’s not out of the realm of possibility for the alien to be injured and die from the water in that house, but that same alien could be unharmed when drinking both bottled water and also when swimming in the ocean – because it’s not the fucking same.

Even if I were to entertain the idea that any kind of water destroys the aliens, that doesn’t make the aliens stupid or less of a threat. It just means they are serious about what they’ve come for. They might be just the foot soldiers sent out from the higher-ups in their own society to kidnap the humans, regardless of the loss in “alien manpower” in order to achieve this end. Maybe their society needs some sort of chemical in our bodies, or our brains, or our cells to harvest in order to save their civilization. They understand the dangers of the rain, the water covering 70% of Earth, and so on, but the loss of all of their foot soldiers means nothing when stacked up against the ability to save their own race from extinction.

No one can say because there are no answers given in the movie. Their motives are not spelled out and their reasons are not explained.

I’m not putting a lot of thought into this. I understood and loved the movie immediately in the theater, and only when all these people were complaining did I realize none of them got it.

I, personally, like the saliva theory being behind the death of the aliens because it makes the ending more enjoyable. Near the end, a news broadcast explains that some people “have found a primitive method to defeat them.” I can see the scene of the alien coming up on a group of people, one of whom steps up to it, spits on it, and watches it stagger back in pain. Then the rest of his buddies just start spitting and looging on the freaking thing until it’s just a burning heap.

Oh, and the plot hole nobody gives a shit about – why doesn’t the fucking alien break out of the pantry and kill Mel Gibson’s character right there when he’s fooling around with the knife? All that’s holding it back is a flimsy pantry door.

But nobody brings that up.

Because they’re stupid.